"Good evening, class" the straight
laced prof for whom we can see no
eyes. Only round ovals of his
glasses. We sat in our chairs and
as he came in, he wrote his name
on the board. "This is class is
a G.R.E. requirement. It is PSY105
an experimental class on DEATHTRAPS
You will notice that there are seat
belts in the chairs. Please strap
them on." With that, having us
done so, we could not get them off
at ever again.
In our panic the prof revealed to
us a series of different devices
toys, machines, he said, to sort,
to assemble, to reconfigure, for
the provoking, the pleasure and
exceeding the limits beyond what
we might concieve of, as possible
ways in which to live, survive,
will, in which our bodies are our
instruments. You will understand,
he began strapping one eye of one
student open, leaned back, arms
strained, that there are alternate
ways of living. You will find
that there are levels of survival
you are more than willing to
descend to. That only in the fore
most of human bondage that a
greater focus can be attained, a
more delicious pleasure imaginable.
And he revealed to us the multitude
of wounds, scars, cuts, lacerations
chains wrapped from nipple to
nipple under his coat, the missing
teeth, the nonfunctional eyeball
deformed genitals -- all trophies
he claimed, over the masses of
groans and screams and sighs. Each
of these is a specimen, a testiment
to the formidable interest that is
a body. Are not bodies
interesting? You can break them
bend them and they still survive.
Pain is a state of mind. It is not
a matter of just cataloging the
instensities hidding within our
selves, but also the underlying
bareness of a soul.
With that began a long lesson.
Not just in the intensities of
a single moment but over the
stretch of hours, days, and
lifetimes. What made this class
experimental is that the goal of
each student is individual there
are no grades, only a pass or fail.
We all start as zeros.
A passing grade,
the ultimate escape.
D E A T H T R A P
batman in chains
betty boop crying in bed
a damsel tied before a train
a mouse getting cheese
man vs wild
bear steps into jaws, a beartrap
bikini roadkill
texas chainsaw massacer 3
hostel
superman bound to a krytonite rock
floating in space
basic instinct
james bond before a diamond laser
three layers of teeth
an open shark's mouth
smashed beyond recognition
cars
plane crash
shell shock
soliders in rows and rows their arms extended their rifles against their chests
torn apart by pigs
dogs of war
suffocated by locked cars
cyrogeneic freeze
electrocuted by a telephone
sucked into a jet engine
left handed people die quicker
alcohol poisoning
drowning in a lake of fire
boston strangler
twin towers
falling off a ladder
downed by a frying pan
zombies
shotgun blast to the back of the head
rotten apples
cockroaches in the bedroom
rusted toilet seats
adolf hitler
jack the ripper
a hole too big to climb out of
walking down the street
music too loud the eardrums bleed people faint the heart explodes
capital punishment
drunk driving
dismembered by a samurai sword
peeled like a fish
fire extinguisher exploded
e
paint chips on the window sill
leech in the swimming hole
mud foot prints
internal bleeding
sleep deprivation
operating heavy machinery
whiskey stupor
broken bungee
unfunctional parachute
angry dad
rape gang of poodles
dull brick
axe
atom bomb
stabbed
inverted crucifition
roasted in a bronze bull
cement shoes
quartered
horse fucking
hanging
lightning
thrown by a tornado
crushed by a bus
suffocated with a pillow
digestive problems
rusted spike
a bomb
mutation
blood poisoning
trampled by bulls so frightened they are blind running into walls, smashing their skulls against granite
dehydration
buried in a sand storm
time bomb
life sentence
lethal injection
good bad and the ugly
8 million ways to die
fatal hilarity
game shows
red kyryptonite
frost
head injury
foul stench of contaminated tomb air
suicide
exploding chest
falling book case
gravity sickness
nitrogen poisoning
magical implosion
event horizon
piano wire
looking at medusa
death ray
prometheus unbound
crashing into the sun
dark side of the moon
rusting away
falling into lava
locked in an asylum
unholy water
stabbed with a violin bow
stagulation
unsuccessful teleportation
critical mass
imploding submarine
russian rolette
acid burn
radiation poisoning
cancer
surfboard to the head
wooden stake to the heart
jungle fever; malaria
drove off a cliff
shot at high noon
cannibalism
eye implement
decapitation
acid bath
locked door
chained to a bed
bad acid trips
jumped before a moving vehicle
earthquake
endless desert
death valley
sibera
the vastness of space
stranded on pluto
damsel tied to train tracks
princess zelda
tied in a boiling pot
eaten dead
or eaten alive
makes no difference
a rock and a hard place
exposed to the elements
out of the frying pan; into the fire
A CATALOGUE of feelings;
the indescribable rush of
exhiliration, the abuse of breath
and what of god gave you
the jump to know you are on the border to see here, and there
instantly you realize, it's the thrill only when you escape and unbeholden to an iron prison
water rising, your head to the last instant that small glint of air
with your nose pressed to the ceiling, your arms and legs waving
water entering your mouth, the porches of your ears
inbetween your eyeballs death
inbetween your toes death
your hands treading water death
the crink in your neck going worse and worse death
you try to drown yourself but it won't happen you want to live too badly
you swim up and down and around looking for a loose brick, something to let out the water
let in the air stop the drowning box from taking you under you swim back to the ceiling
tilt your head against the ceiling death
trapped against the ceiling and the water bouyant death
one nostril grasping for air it's not enough
your body cannot survive
sacrifice your arms your legs
i need air your brain needs air
need need need death
slow starvation in a cave the boulder in the way
eating your friends
eating yourself
eating dirt
ashes, the carbon to save off the pain
the carbonite ash from fire eats at your stomach lining
if only you could digest wood. so many hydrocarbons in there, it burns so sweetly
but you cannot eat it your teeth bleed
bite off your fingers and toes
filling your stomach with oxygen with air
you cannot be hungry
you drink all your water and piss it away to fill your belly
drown yourself youre still hungry but so full of water
till you lie on the floor and succumb to gravity
even your breathing takes so much
and then if not for despair you gain the euphoria of monks
visions of your childhood
your lovers
the ground is as satin sheets on your back
the sand runs, a river through your fingers
your body slowly sinks into the earth
its naked flesh melting into the rock and silt
you are in the sky now
the salamites like pencil tips
drawing themselves on your boney rib cage
playing against the sound of your breath, a xylophone
your rasping a saw on your ear
the wind tears at your cold toes and it enters in through your pant legs
wraps its little pinkie on your leg across your anus and up your back
you are so light it lifts you up momentarily
in starvation your brain never loses any of its fat.
it burns off all its neurochemicals however and you can no longer see
you ground your teeth off against rocks days ago
licked the floors until your tongue was raw
the curse of humans to eat their animals sisters and brothers their plant friends
eat the planet away you lose yourself in that feeling
until you aren't hungry anymore
just so tired
tired
death is a cold place where you can feel warm
wake up 6am
drive to work 8am
coffee break 1030am
lunch1pm
resumework2pm
coffeebreak 3:30pm
leave work5pm
get home730pm
eat frozen food8pm
tv9pm
shower and bed11pm
just waiting to die
can't pay your mortgage
can't pay your car
tell yourself it's the little things that matter
saturdays you see a movie with a pal you haven't seen in months
share a beer on friday with the locals at the bar
guys like you but
maybe with a wife and kids
fly home to your parents on xmas
see your brother's family
can't find a better job
hate your boss but he's funny
passed up for a promotion again
don't want to be a manager anyway
easter is another day eating alone
our dog died last year and you hadn't got another
because it's too painful when he just dies for no reason
no matter how much money you dropped that you didn't have
you gave away everything except the dog dish
with his name, bucko
you quit going to the bar
you couldn't handle drinking alone
you drink in your room instead sometimes to
wake to the alarm in your room
when you're still prone on your couch
smelling of bourbon
and congac.
drift a few dollars here and there into a fund
can't retire until youre 70
getting fired would be awful
but secretly, it's a blessing for you to be able to do
what you cannot do for yourself
you are not laid off
you buy a book and never finish it
you bring gifts to your brother's kids
he and his wife insist you should get married
you wouldn't know who
the day you retire
you pass it by
youre 75 and they don't give you work
they force you to leave
youve got nothing else to do
you go fishing sometimes
take a tour you can't afford
of china
europe for 2 months
talk with your tour companions
eat strange food
get drunk with guys you don't like
go to india for a month
japan
vietnam
france
you reverse mortgage your home
you go to siberia
see places most humans would never see
ride a yak in a tour of eleven people
the only humans for 200 miles
where the train tracks had stopped
in the summer fields of flowers, rolling hills
you wonder if your tourguide would kill you all
take your stuff and leave you
you break your leg falling off your animal
it is wrapped in a splint and you can't move without anyone
a freak snowstorm in early august
your party is in the side of a hill for 3 days in a cave
one of the animals die
you all eat it
it is tough and smells funny
your tour guide goes for help with three other people, looking for a place where the radio would work
they don't return for 1 week
after the 9th day you wake up and you're alone
you think they will all come back
it is a beautiful august morning and the snow is melting
the sun goes down
it comes back up
you think it is september now
you still can't walk
you've never seen flowers like these before
the tour guide says they are poisonous
you eat one
nothing happens
then for a while,
nothing some more
the last resort
aresnic filled tooth
crying babies cannot help but understand
someone come save me
alone, i am
helpless.
someone,
we are abandoned
our skin blistering
our nerves frayed
go directly to jail do not stop do not collect 200$
go directly to hell
one way ticket
bite it
take a dirt nap
meet the reaper
flatline
for whom the bell tolls
get your halo
cooking for the Kennedys
take the last count
meet one's maker
bite the biscuit
give up the ghost
go home feet first
picking up your harp
coiled up his ropes
croaked
river styx
crossing the river
in the sweet hereafter
journey's end
kick the bucket
singing with the angels
six feet under
join one's ancestors
mailed in his warranty card
gibbed
meet one's maker
pushing up daisies retroactive abortion
gone to the big glass house in the sky
go the way of all flesh
hand in one's chips
off the record
on one's last legs
left the building
deleted from the BOM
join the angels
sleep with the fishes
visiting Davy Jones' locker
disassemble
feed the fishes
go to one's just reward
go west
cash in your chips
hang up your tack
toasted
Abraham's bosom
snuff it
sowing the Elysian Fields
beamed up
debt we all must pay
cached in his chips
go home in a box
bought the farm
on the road to nowhere
passed on
pay the piper
deanimate
collapsed his/her outline
shed the mortal coil
kick the can
knocked off
walked the plank
bought his lunch
disincorporate
donating the liver paté
done like dinner
end of the line
fade away
the big sleep
an awfully big adventure
condition non-conducive to life
bought a pine condo
cashed in
big jump
at the end of one's rope
answer the last call
breathe one's last
ride the lightning
of us all, checked out
i am the living dead cashed out
in the long run, bless the world with one's heels
we all leave bosom of the Father and his God
but in a death trap crown of life
i confront my existentialism curtains
up close and personal dance on air
bite the big one
no way out awake to life immortal
i am the living dead pull the plug
bite the dust
number's up
and i know it immortally challenged
cross the Great Divide
wacked
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