« Posts by alex

the game of tag

Looney toons always has a pair. One who “gets it” and one who fails.

Pairs, like Tweety and Sylvester. Or Wile E Coyote. Maybe in some complexity of three with Tom and Jerry (and that bulldog), but mostly in regards to two, such as Bugs and Daffy or Bugs and Elmer Fudd.

These scenes resemble little more than snapshots of complex schemes often with little change between how one scene connects with next; they all occupy the same region; they are interchangable; syntagmatic.

Contrary with more contemporary cartoons, these looney tunes begs the question; who are we to identify with? How do we enter into the narrative? We relate with one or the other: The one who struggles with desire or the one who achieves mastery?

“meep meep.”

Neither position really presents much in the way of identification — at least for modern audiences. In such vignettes, at least for me, my interest is in the interplay between the one who “gets it” and the attempts of one who does not.

I guess in that sense, Venture Brothers is the same way. Only they all pretty much fail.

No one gets anything. Not the Guild and not O.C.I..

Even the super secret agents get confused about the counter plot. Don’t you see? It’s all just a test to prove your mettle, to see if you ‘get it’ or not!

Even the super powerful agent Brock Samson is at times reduced to an angry gorilla. ‘Getting it’ depends largely on understanding your role at all times, and no one can do that. Everyone fails at some point, with the twists and turns in the plots and complex schemes. We can’t always see how we stand with or among others.

What’s intriguing in Venture Brothers is that despite super science and heros and villains a reoccurring theme appears with older characters who have given it up.

So then theres “life outside discourse” where you “settle down”… (Venture Brothers episode 406)

This is very insulating, in the sense that we are walking into a dichotomy. Whether it is “settling down” or ruling the world, Everyone wants the dream-life. In the larger picture, we just don’t know what the idea ‘it is’ or ‘how it could be’. Again, those who ‘get it’… are who we want to be, if its the start of a career as a super scientist or one who is washed up at the end of it and ‘knows better’.

I think that kind of story (finding your way in or out of a discourse) is more interesting than ones where “the course of discourse must be decided” on “the battlefield”

Examples of the latter? Like Bravehart or Twilight or Star Wars… (we won’t talk about these because they are really boring as the ‘answer’ is obvious from the start, the journey is supposedly in the resolution of the conflict, but it is ‘safe’ conflict as the ending is pretty much guaranteed.)

An example of the former?

Married with Children is one example of the former. So life is gappier. You talk the big talk, Al Bundy (or Marcy Darcy or whoever) but then through the twists and turns you are revealed to be empty. To be a fraud, to only have your dreams. Dreams no one else really cares about.

Do you get it?

In Venture Brothers, the character we follow, for whom things are revealed, must always ‘figure it out’. The colorful side characters always ‘know more’ or ‘know nothing’ but become part of the tapestry as mastermind or victim/bystander.

There is a third kind of discursive position though, one in which things are arrows, in terms of maintaining the discourse.

Sitcoms repeat drive states until one character “gets how to deal with that imbalance” before life can return to its normal repetition.

IRL is probably more like sitcoms, although sometimes we think it’s about “getting it” in which case we think others “get it” and we try to “get it” too, or at least fool others into think we “get it” until we actually become one of those who “get it”. This is best seen in business where new businesses spend an inordinate amount of time convincing others they are legitimate….

The problem with imbalance and return is that IRL there’s really nothing to return to.

Just like there ain’t a discourse that’s inscibed in the cosmos, only ones inscribed in us. And we select from those partial lines.

IRL is like a bad play that just won’t end.

If, like the current movie, j Edgar, maybe we can improve the narrative if we tell it out if order so it’s not a flat narrative in which we repeat cycles. But why not sacrifice ‘realism’ if you are going to step Outside the chronological line and stage a trial by gods where j Edgar must recall his life in purgatory and judge himself…

So the conflict is drawn out — already j Edgar relies on voice overs and incidential parallels in time to explain the character reasoning which we wouldn’t otherwise get without it. In fact, the movie starts off with j Edgar relating to an agent to write a book; he supplies a narrative in order to reconstruct his own life, suggesting for us that he is the mastermind of his own plot — (calling into question what for us, might be the actual meaning).

This is very IRL — when here on the blogosphere, or with friends, we explain how we were in the recent past — to give continuity and identity to our current actions. We explain ourselves into a discourse, bring others into the fold so as to legitimize what we are doing right now.

For j Edgar, the voice belongs to a disembodied super ego which lasts beyond the narrator’s own death. But wouldn’t it be more interesting if the voice overs was the disembodied id and the determination in the scenes was due to the superego attempting to weave a dignified plot line?

As it is, the movie starts out it was the ego but it shifted when you caught up to the ‘narrative present’…

And then confusingly surpassed it.

Over all, with j edgar, it’s too easy to understated. The movie asks the wrong questions. We want to make a tragic figure? But it was too much a victimization…

Aristolean conflicts with the cobbled story line not withstanding.

If we could be explorers. Would it be best told as Marlowe or as Kurtz?

Between Naruto and Sasuske the story is told by the witness, Sakura. Not by Sherlock Holmes, but by Watson, a bystander.

Cuz, you know, Sakura is otherwise worthless. And that is the role others play for us, to witness it, and share it, to legitimize it. The crow lets the pawnshop owner to live and run back and ‘tell the tale’ so that others may know his story. Others can ‘get it’ too.

so, back to that shared discourse, it is the effort to legitimize our behavior within a symbolic (larger social reality) which Lacan was able to extract from Freud and speak of it directly without Freud’s troublesome metaphor.

I think that is pretty much Lacan right there; we get a calculas of who ‘gets it’ and ‘who does not’ and how we are each frauds — without substance and with substance– but in different ways. I think if there is a lesson to be learned is that we must not believe in the ‘getting it’ that ought to be gotten. That even adults are frauds, and that everyone is nothing in the face of the awesome sublime. Nonetheless, some ppl can be okay with nothing, and the job of an analyst is to help you become okay with nothing. And that ppl who are okay with nothing have nothing over those who are not okay with nothing. That there is no difference, and it is this nothing that makes no difference difference with everything.

I mean, yeah, zizek says that too. But he says more than that, although its not much more… its this nothing that really helps you see where Zizek and Buddhism collide. Actually it’s fuzzy in my head, but I think Zizek did mention it, in some book, I forget where, at the end of Parallax Gap, maybe. I saw it years before he wrote that book, but someone was bound to eventually point it out in print.

Zizek himself said it. Because then at that point, he ‘got it’ too.

metaphysics of anti-presence OR without “ontic” context there is no ontological

(written about a month or so ago)

i suppose that thanksgiving is when one is supposed to be reminded to be thankful. while this in principle, is the same for pilgrims as us, i don’t believe it to be the most useful of things to do with our time.

if anything we ought to be “thankful” all the time. but that’s not even a question of giving thanks… as it begs the question, thanks to who? even the universe in general isn’t good enough, because it implies that if one is thankful for one day then — you can take advantage of everything all the rest of the days?

what an utterly and ridiculous notion!

i have been trying to stay away from some of the pitfalls of philosophy. see, it’s not a matter of specific knowledge it’s more of the way in which we apply our thoughts. philosophy as an exercise isn’t the extrapolation of “key points”, that is something anyone and everyone can does — stoners especially. what makes something philosophy is the consideration of these key points within a territory of meta-physics. so while there are some artists that certainly give philosophical critiques, and i know of some, they are still not, strictly speaking, philosophers.

so for example — how the paragraph above applies to me — would go something like this… something i might’ve done (but have not, to the best of my knowledge) is approach someone who is claiming to not be a philosopher because he is proposing an anti-metaphysics and say to him loudly: THE NEGATION OF A METAPHYSICS IS A METAPHYSICS

which in a philosophical sense, is definitely be true. and is true in a heideggerian kind of way. but really is not a useful thought to anyone except philosophers.

so you get trapped, see? once you unconsciously apply that context, you’re kinda stuck addressing context, which is slippery and hard to define.

so this question of thanks, or not thanks, is really a false dichotomy. you can have a day of thanks and still be thankful. all the time.

lately though, i have been disgusted with the world we are living in. from consumerism, to everything else. it seems there is too much baggage around. and what is one to do? go to your parents or your whoever and say, look, you know and i know x y z is supposed to happen but let’s agree not to play that game and be genuine with one another… and deal with one another on the basis of a natural ethics.

even if they agree, and didn’t decide you were looney and trying to impose a crap load of your own constructions onto them, it’s almost laughable that there be some genuine authentic human being underneath all of these games. i mean, how many of you women would be willing to give up your identity and learned behaviors of womanhood? if you address the question to men it’s even stickier because most men may be aware of “being a man” of when they are to do that kind of “man thing”, but at the same time, how many of them are really willing to give it up? being a man is more socially “default” than being a woman, so it’s harder to realize when you are “being yourself” and when you are “being a man”. in fact, i would argue that its impossible for many men since we are so much “ourself” “a man”.

after all, women can wear pants and ppl don’t really care…

so its kind of like, give up what? let’s imagine i was trying to fit in. and that i am making myself miserable doing it. so i stop “fitting in”. but what does that mean? how do i earn a living? and at what point should i no longer stop giving things up, and accept that i have reached my genuine self. so.. okay, we can agree that i am not cut out to be a finance person. i admit that. i suck at it. and i get lost easily in finance (but not math)… and i don’t have patience for it. so i can stop that. but does that mean i need to stop working? if i want to stop doing sales, fine. im not an extrovert, and it drains me alot to talk to ppl. but does that mean i stop being self-employed? who am i really? that’s a really really REALLY dumb question though, because it doesn’t go anywhere. am i assuming that i have an inner fireman (or some other job) i can channel and suddenly discover that i need to reorient my life in a cosmological way and that cosmology happens to correspond to a banal everyday job THAT I CAN DO IN LA IN THE EARLY 21st CENTURY AND STILL BE “FIT IN” to the larger society? its kind of a tall order to think that ideal something would make everything “work”.

see, it’s easy to locate conflict in the local. like, oh it’s my coworker(s) that make me unhappy, or its the fact that i need to make 20k more or that my gf isn’t the right person… but it’s much harder to reasonably assume that local conflicts do not result from global fissures.

in one sense it’s easy to say, oh, everything is local. so if i have a problem with my mother, it’s not pathological — meaning it’s not a structural issue in how i make my surroundings/relationships. that if i run away from home, i won’t have a similar problem with someone else, elsewhere. so the presence of conflicts in the local do not assume that problems aren’t global too. but absence doesn’t work that way. should everything be okay locally, then we suddenly don’t care about the global… since our experience of the global is always mediated by the local.

this is still pretty mundane. on thanksgiving you can say, oh, i love you ppl! you ppl who want to spend it with me! and that’s pretty much it, isn’t it? that’s what any holiday is about, spending it with those unique others. there isn’t a magical soulmate you haven’t yet, or the perfect family you have to find and become — this is the moral conclusion of any good thanksgiving family movie. and that conclusion lends itself to supposing a radical absence of the global all together.

and this is where things get a little hairy.

because there isn’t a cosmological signifiance to the global. global is only a position we reify ourselves — through our pathology or the repetition of our situation. conflicts in the local originate from the vehicles of how we situate or deploy things that happen around us. we repeat our histories because we recreate those contexts. this is pretty plain psychoanalysis-wise but the larger situation i am attempting to express is one devoid of oedipus, symbolic regimes or other meta-physical crap. we can and should suppose the global as the vanishing mediator by which we explain and interface with our surroundings, but we should not limit our surroundings to this global mediation! (maybe zizek would say at this point, who cares about the cosmos? only global only global. but no, the property isnt transitive, there is a parallax)

but not to get side-tracked:

reality is not the pawn of ideas. reality may be a playground for ideas to find expression, but the ghost always needs a body. it’s in the body that a ghost becomes real — not the other way around. rather, ideas are the pawn of reality. we can play with them, and create them but they ultimately only remain facets of our own distinction having ‘reality’ only when we align them with the actual happenings in reality.

reality is not limited to the ideas we have in our head. i think this kind of rationalization is very very damaging. i see this happening alot in political discourse, or in social situations where 1) individuals assume others embody a principle or 2) individuals or situations are defined in terms of a principle.

both are limiting behaviors and discard the larger reality which has no principle or idea. one might as well assume there is an evil in the world, originating from a particular source. it’s like harry potter defeating whatever his face is. he removes evil from the world, so now we can never have evil ever again.

or in some other stories, where there is one good, like if some super mad scientist found where jesus lived and decided to imprision jesus. oh no, make that santa claus. now there’s no xmas.

like that.

human beings may construct for the larger society, a discourse of thanks, or political salvation or what have you, but that discourse is reality only for the people who accept the temporal context or the narrative context. this is a very powerful thing to have happen, but it’s also very damaging for us, because we become blind to what we are doing and what we are not only thinking we are doing but what else we are actually doing (to ourselves or others). i am not advocating a return to gaia or that we need to live with one with nature — or embrace our biological imperative — those discourses are also a return to the ‘true authentic self’ which are defined by anthropomorphosizing concepts. nature is a concept. biological imperatives are concepts. i don’t mean to say that concepts are not real, just that are they are not definitively real, inscribed in the cosmological void! the global exists too, but only for the one, not for the cosmos. this is what hegel means when he talks about universal vs the Notion, but that’s for a different time.

so what does it leave us? with an authentic…. what? one might as well assume that chimps have biological imperatives and study them in labs. removing one from the situation is to defamiliarize that removed one.

i kind of want to move away from this now, because i am skirting on this notion of ‘choice’ and ‘free will’ which is too much to get into right now. a good example of how discourse and pre-conceived notions comes into play is in the discursive writings of evolutionary psychologists… who presuppose natural identity for man and woman since the dawn of time. or who ‘discover’ our ‘true nature’ as some kind of social evolution concurrent with our biological evolution. for example, seeing ‘modern hunter gatherers’ as ‘a window to our prehistoric man’ is both racist and ignoring the fact that the present is not the past’s present. the present in the past is gone, and the past’s present seen today is a very different thing than the past’s past. unfortunately like all discourses, the precepts of that discourse create the conditions for fulfilling and expressing that discourse. if ‘we’, the contemporary man, are the pinnacle of evolution then we deserve what we got. those who are ‘lesser’… well, you get it. most of discourse is, is to narratively sort out other people and to tell us how to treat them and deal with them.

so we know ourselves in the process through the global mediation of the narrative about other people.

i guess i could have said all of this, after thinking about it and procrastinating on my CEU (continuing education units) by saying for this entry

1. there isn’t anything to be thankful about, except that you can be thankful
2. there is no (big Other) to be thankful to.
3. you aren’t being thankful, it’s your role in the story to be thankful… because there is no real you, only your body and your projected identity.

but look at this. haven’t i narratively told you who you are, how to deal with other people and how you can fulfill and express yourself?

i have! but only if you believe in this discourse, of course.

fuck poems

i hate poems.
i want to rip their delicious words
foot from tender foot & dont forget
their pretentious line breaks
their dramatic pauses;
with their rotten semi-colons.

i hate lyricism.
with the way words make you feel
with their senseless rambling
to slither down the inside of your skull
with their assault on reason and good taste
a hierarchy to some mystical pose the
grand larceny of emotion.

drives your senses dull and duller
insensate to the world around you

poems can make you wonder at the glory
of a man fed alive to pigs in a soviet work camp
or of the wonder of pin after pin
lovingly slid into tendon and flesh.
so it’s a statement about identity
culture
and abandonment.

don’t forget the words the dead have written
making wussy boys wussier &
seducing sensitive women to lie in bed with ghosts
reading themselves blind after hours
we all need glasses, we of stupid vision
so easily hypotized

it is better to be a dog or a wolf
to lie senseless in mud and snow
to hunt, run and fuck
eat grass & get drunk on the wind
climb rocks & see things no one has seen

better than trapping your forehead
in the bindings of things from shelley’s frankenstein
or william wordsworth who lay under a tree watching
farm hands work
writing about grass and hills
& english peace.

BAH

no authenticity

today let us get rid of the concept of ‘authenticity’

without ‘authenticity’ there would be no reason to fake anything.

without ‘authenticity’ there would be simply. and no measure of what is greater, locality or worldliness.

dare i say that there might not be a ‘being’ or ‘ownership’. certainly title insurance would not exist!

there also be no need to ‘lie’ because when we lie, we prize that aspect of things that are ‘true’ over things that are ‘not so’

and then maybe, Heidegger could be completely alive for longer than a moment right before his own death.

and buddhists would also not have to be ‘no-mind’ or ‘buddha nature’ because even daydreamers and schemers are just who they are.

without ‘authenticity’ there would be no ‘poser’ no ‘virgin’ no ‘elite’ no ‘bourgeois’ and no ‘original’.

i think without ‘authenticity’ we can all hold hands and sing kumbaya without needing congo drums or pot. wouldn’t that be nice?

whole foods would go out of business (yay) and the generics would flourish as generics. they wouldn’t have to pretend to be something else.

also, beyond ‘authenticity’

at some point theory is just another text, not to be prized or somehow more genuine than other texts just another piece of bullshit

instead of class, or race, or gender or ‘oppression’ there ought to be another name for that which exercises identity and in the process of

doing so, makes separations, cleaves people & designates, determines them to be lesser or greater.

i guess that’s like the zone of luce irigaray, who i have not read in a long time. i said cleaves and zone to be punny.

i suppose benjamin might want to be brought in, with this notion of art and originals… but anyway

the ‘moron in a hurry’ rests his case.

on radicalism and hegel — and why zizek should not be listened to

currently slavoj zizek is the rockstar in academia. while i am a bit out of touch from academia, i find it a bit disturbing that many of my idealistic colleagues and cohorts still praise zizek for various articles and statements.

i plan on making this short. so let me get to the point: we shouldn’t praise or hold zizek in such high esteem. in some sense, it’s good for one to adopt radical positions — we can learn from that. but radicality can spiral in a dialectic as one switches different basis.

for example,

1. academia is a tool of the status quo as public funding needs to (con)serve monetary infrastructures which support them. this monetary tie often forces institutions to adopt only modest changes while maintaining the superstructures which support them. nonetheless, zizek’s success in academia (and beyond) ties heartily in with supporting the status quo. how radical can zizek be while remaining entrenched in academia?

this seems contrary with the second reason:

2. the zizek of the last 10 years has enjoyed a terrible amount of success. his political position has changed somewhat — his attempts to continually focus on radical positions pushes him to adopt more and more conservative positions as he continually steps against the general positions of his liberal academic base. this seems good in light of the first position, except that by stepping against the first, zizek ends up back in the arms of the status quo in the name of being radical.

the last ties the first two nicely,

3. both marx and lacan, zizek’s two philosophical fathers have a common ancestor in hegel. hegel’s absolute system was created for two purposes — the first was to tie noumenon with phenomenon — the second was to nail absolute truth down in an increasingly cosmopolitan world. hegel’s system works by weaving all the different phenomenon of life together in a super-structure that is not of any particular phenomenon. absolute truth is achieved by finding it everywhere and nowhere at once. this absolutism does not care if one is radical or one is conservative. the system works by discarding difference to find principle relations which structure those differences. such structures are often ontologically conservative as linguistically constructed relations are, as a rule of thumb, established and integrated rather than radical and novel.

in other words, as a hegelian zizek does not care if he supports the status quo or if he supports a liberal agenda. either agenda will ultimately support the dialectical synthesis which must occur in order to step us closer to the heart of the empty Notion. in fact, in order to introduce new material for a synthesis (and to keep things interesting) zizek must continually provide new angles on old material.

it is in this adherence to a Notion that traps his philosophical framework within the established parameters (be it) capitalism, classism and/or psychoanalysis… while simultaneously giving excuse to everything under the sun. certainly powers of explanation are desirable to remove the unknown in phenomenon, so that phenomenon is just phenomenon. but moving towards the Notion is a different movement than moving back away from it.

it is as dostoyevsky’s character ivan expressed; under God everything is allowed. under the hegelian notion — all things are equal — without responsibility. also, there is little movement within hegel to achieve a difference or an aesthetics to be. hegel works by subsuming things into its own immanence. so with this in mind, zizek’s authoritarian politics takes on a nefarious tone. while zizek is perhaps not completely speaking out and writing against current events today, he is edging towards becoming a spokesperson for the status quo while clothed in the sheep of radical intellectualism. beware — reading and sharing zizek as a conservative inevitably leads to positions of “obey” and “follow” rather than “question” and “learn”, something all too available to for those who are in positions of popularity mistaken for authority.

this comes to light especially in some of the recent articles he has written. take a look at this gem: in which zizek accuses lesbians of being unable to love. or perhaps zizek’s rant on the recent riots on the u.k.. these two pieces aren’t the only articles of course, zizek is famously prolific. in some sense, it doesn’t really matter whether this famous speaker becomes a spokes person for the status quo or not. he’s just one man, and his betrayal of his fan bases’ sensibilities will only hurt him in the end. certainly as intelligent as he is, he won’t be the first celebrity to succumb to stardom by become a parody of himself.

nonetheless, while i don’t fully agree with the analysis of zizek in either article, i do believe it to be important for us to really understand not just what he says but where he is coming from. zizek by aesthetic and philosophical choice can only really promote what is conservative as he is bound by a conservative philosopher.

when trying to understand a philosopher, we must first understand what problems he wishes to solve before we can fully understand what his philosophy is all about. being taken in by soundbites or clips, be it a paragraph from an article or an entire book in a collection work won’t give us the full picture of what the philosophy is all about.

the best hint of zizek’s agenda comes from his own mouth in astra taylor’s zizek! in which zizek professes that he wishes to merge marx and lacan. his later talks have tended to view totalitarianism as the best way to find both the sublime and authenticity as an ethical subject. in the latter, totalitarianism acts as a bulwark by which individuals can be perverse, ethical singularities. i believe it is only the desire for a bulwark which serves for zizek to recommend authoritarianism as the quickest route to subjecthood. without that bulwark, there can be no ethical subjectivity, only a mess of pre-subjective desires. in that sense, zizek would not embrace permissive post-modernism and apparently, that includes the snippet above about lesbian love.

while zizek is undoubtably creative theoretically, it behooves us to ask if zizek’s position on subjectivity is what is best for society or even an individual. it probably does not serve us all to be perverse subjects, to take ethical stances in the form of unyielding drives, nor would it be in our best interest as a group of people who need to live among one another for us each to embrace totalitarianism just to cast it aside.

to me, zizek remains an interesting spectacle, but one who is so theoretically entangled in his musings that he seems to believe that if he is hysterical enough, everything he says will come to be… that people are synonymous with subjectivity and that the theoretical edifices he lays out will become absolutely true. if anything, he remains fully trapped by the dichotomies and gremasian squares he continually lays out for his readers.

so the question remains. do we need this roundabout philosopher to tell us what the most conservative of political groups already say?

on Art

Sculpture is the most ideal art. Music is the most pragmatic. Dance is the most expressive.

The dream of the artist is to inscribe in the space inside the body outside the body. It’s very much as what Deleuze said regarding the inscription of great books being written in flesh.

I don’t mean that art should be tattooed, but that it should connect what is internal with what is external.

Yet art is not limited to the permeation of membranes or the echo of a model in the head of an artist to the exterior, nor does art have to do with the fidelity of transmission between an external source with an internal experience.

The worst artist is one who carefully conceives of his creations as a matter of controlling the experience of his audience — about transmitting a message, of needing to supplement their art with a libretto or scoffing at those who do not understand their art. Art as a capitalist endeavor is owned, but art as art is experiential germination not teleological. Art is not an essay, it is not about message or medium, although essays can be art. Mediums themselves may be art, and messages can certainly have that artistic impulse.

Rather, to make art is to germinate a form with its ambivalence and its multi-valence and its integral congruity such that the experience of that form extends itself naturally within the substrate of a manifold.

So while each of us are manifolds, select reflections of the world around us, our manifold itself is permeated by forces beyond us from the outside. Those forces can reverberate within our manifold to manifest a chamber of interlaced experience. That vibration, be it pleasurable or stinging — be it without judgement is the result of art. Great art can lead us to intenser vibrations.

Although of course, we judge such vibrations on the face of pleasurable experiences, or singular expressions in allowed social spaces. The accidental death of a parent, or the purposeful interruption of employment can both be traumatic instances, but not permissible within the social realm of ‘art’.

This is how sculpture can be the most ideal form. In the rigidity or fluidity of material, we can experience the visual (and tensile) sensuousness of a form that interrupts a space we are in and informs us of an otherworldly experience. Traditional otherworldly statues of Gods and Demons, plants and other creatures can invoke in us the presence of a static creature such as Venus de Milo. More contemporaneous forms vary in their simplicity or texture to suggest the raw indeterminacy of a gesture — perhaps highlighting the specificity of a bird in space as with Brâncu?i.

In much the same way, music allows for the literal and synecdochiac reverberation of rhythms and beats that bounce within the antechambers of our manifold. We literally vibrate with sounds that resonate with us. As the rhythms align the internal weave of our core, as it is already pre-made with alliterations from familiar genres and languages, so does speech and poetry jolt us with the strength of its diastole and systolic pistons such that we get the hip shaking, head pounding one-step, a halfway intrusion into the expressive realm of Dance.

If you follow me so far, you will understand the how dance and other forms likewise fall under art.

Great art is not the germination of a thought, so much as it is the construction brand new memetics, not of the replication of cliches and icons — although there are room for these too, as art. Art can be any kind of verbal or non-verbal language, it is a modal set operating on other modal sets. And we human subjects are not the only manifolds, although that is our best experience of alien worlds that weave worldly produce in often inexpressible or even inexcusable forms.

Manifolds exist as reflections in the pond, registers in your motherboard — manifolds are topographical maps of the earth, presented as 2D fold-outs. Manifolds are imprints of a system, or a totality along a specific interface, such that the movements of a knight in chess is a particular manifold. A table is a manifold of a factory. A chair is the manifold of the man who made it, the woman who sat in it for fifty years and the weather outside her home.

When Charles Bukowski grew old, wrote poems and started to vomit his brains out, drink is heart and his relationships down the toilet, he is a manifold of a great deal things. His abusive father, his teenage acne, his misery and search for pussy, his subsequent selfishness and alcoholism, his many wives, his days traveling and giving talks. When Michel Hemmingson wrote about the human scum, like the step-father who fucks his step-daughter, or shall we imagine a novel Hemmingson might write… a Vietnam vet who ends up in Hawaii, drugged out, alcoholic, washed out, alienated from the his family, his life interrupted, working a worthless job, waking up drunk each morning, walking the beach dressed like a bum, watching the waves crash on virgin sands, dreaming of the pussy he had, of his children who hate him, barely riding his bike to work once in a while, and his friend who drives a crab truck. This too is a manifold, the manifold written out in words meant to be inscribed in flesh, a way of life. A way of living, a weave, a potential argument for humanity, for existence, for the interruption of alien consciousness on our planetary cosmos.

Philosophers desire to be artists, they desire to walk the thin line that intersects all manifolds, runs through them. But that too is a manifold, one which seeks to imprint its attending indexes onto other manifolds. Plato wrote his Republic as an exploration of what he thought is, justice and the best social roles to express that justice. Heidegger, Sartre, Nietzsche, Marx and even Hegel all wrote on what the best way to live was, the best life to be. The different indexicals that tie these manifolds together act as spaces within a statue, to help formulate the different modes of awareness along bands of consciousness. Shall we name the indexes in Freud? Father, Child, Mother. Lacan? Analyst and Patient, Symbolic and Real and Imaginary. Language works as Moebius Strips that both inform us of our specific meaning along an indeterminate range. Art that does not apply so directly to such vast and vague concepts such as Society and Justice still carry a language a rhythm like Frank Sinatra’s do-be-do-be-do or a do-wop that enfolds us and unfolds within us in a place and time of our being-here regulated by limbs, circadian rhythms of day and night, our social function (formal, wedding or in the bedroom with an intimate guest) and what we had for lunch earlier, our hopes and dreams, the deixis of our self image &c.

In this manner, art is more than just a medium or a message. It is the way in which we weave and are weaved by our surroundings, the ripples of our actions in other’s lives and their actions in ours. We are made and unmade by the minute, by the hour with the expressive forms that carry alien forces directly into our filters, such that the Simpsons expressed in South Park is more than just South Park or the Simpsons, but informs us of each. We watch Lost not as Lost is made or watched by its producers or written by its writers, but as we are made and it is made through us. So the truths and beauties that Moulin Rouge spoke so highly of in Art is less the periodic expression of “partial theories as though formalized through science” but the deployment of our own orientation to that stimulus, our own expression of our manifold as a slice of a context, through the deixical filters of self image and being and through the rubric of oneness, the way evolution isn’t about the development of a single species through time but the cohabitation of a series of forces as they co-evolve, the planet as one massive domino, biome on biome, niche on niche and weather system on planetary rotation.

Living life is art in the broadest sense and our awareness of it does not make it less rich but in fact is irrelevant to its continuation. If anything our awareness is an interruption of a process through the privatization of a deterritorialized space and the prizing of one deixical filter above all others. The projection of ego and selfhood is to mistake the manifold for everything else, when in fact manifolds are little more than dirty mirrors. Remove that dirty mirror from its manifestation and place it in a vacuum and it would be like putting a diamond in a room with no light. Or cutting a figure from a painting out. Taken out of context, the figure lacks all balance of perspective and is no longer adequate to its task. It functions as an empty vector. Unless one projects the original painting around the figure or introduces the figure as a piece in a new manifold, nothing will happen. A mirror in the dark like a soul without a body will falter and vanish completely without a trace like animals in iron cages.

railing against the 2nd attention

i was thinking about the fakeness of souplantation along with its faux industrial look (at this location) when my dad decided to strike a conversation with me about the illuminati.  started by saying that george washington in a letter acknowledged their existence.

he went on a little bit about the statue of liberty — talking about first how the two men who built it were illuminati… talking about various symbols in the statue of liberty.

i wont repeat the conversation but frankly i found it vaguely annoying because i don’t care.  my reasoning as i explained was that such symbols do not do anything.  does the symbols on the U.S. dollar bill serve to make the sun shine?  guarantee the U.S.’s place in the world?  serve to hurry along the 2nd coming of Jesus?  when i explained this to my cousin she found it to be incredibly negative.  she retorted, saying that symbols are important because they serve to remind one of things.  i then mentioned the stain glass windows in catholic churches with the 12 stations.  things like that do carry meaning and can help improve one’s life, but the presence of symbols themselves are meaningless — one has to take them seriously and bring them into being with one’s own person, otherwise it’s as plain as decoration.  really if one lives it, why does one need symbols?

it seemed that my dad took the presence of such symbols (in some part) to mean the presence of a shadow government, i found that completely bogus.  governments and institutions are so ineffectual.  for there to be a shadow government ruling the planet for hundreds of years, one would need an incredibly tightknit organization — one completely disciplined and lean with near perfect information (some how).  how often do the local police solve crimes (for instance)?  i won’t get started on that but i will mention that belief in a masterful conspiracy is really unlikely.  government is so cumbersome.  and any kind of super secret government won’t be secret for long — because there is no elite squad with near perfect technical information, certainly not fifty+ years ago.

nonetheless, disproving conspiracy theories is kind of a ridiculous thing to do because it’s near impossible.  it’s an epistemologist’s field (which i am bad at) but how can anyone prove anything?  if we have a choice in what we believe in and how we organize anything then we should have a set of criteria to determine the most effective beliefs.

what i want to get to here, is what carlos castenada calls the 2nd attention.

i want to extend castenada’s thought as exposited in books like ‘the power of silence’ and ‘the fire within’.  he calls the first attention to be that of everyday man.  the 2nd attention is the shifting of awareness from the first attention into the other bands of awareness, like that of other animals or other creatures not of this world.  the 3rd attention is when the entire luminescent being lights up simultaneously, and that is analogous to near immortality or complete awareness or enlightenment.  i don’t want to go into detail about this but i will analogize the 2nd attention here.

in a sense there is no first attention…if there were, it would be common sense, or an everyday sense of things.  a shared reality of sorts.  when getting into the particulars it’s apparent that there isnt a shared reality.  there are clusters of shared realities in different groups that reinforce one another.  these groups verge into areas that castenada would define as the 2nd  attention.

the analogy of the 2nd attention is best explained with the ‘sorcerers’ who search for the truth and power in the 2nd attention.  castenada talks about these men, heroically going through unknown areas of the psyche and going mad, or disappearing altogether, lost and unable to come back.  often, in castenada’s books, don juan and carlos get stuck somewhere overnight in the desert, because they are wandering through the 2nd attention (in a controlled way by don juan) when they are spotted by a creature of the 2nd attention (sometimes one who was once a man) and they must hide from it and wait until sunrise before they can escape.

in this analogy, the 2nd attention works for ppl who try to identify truth and gain power from it.  they are ordinary people like you and i but they are also people who are interested in politics, or religion, or philosophy.  they are world-builders, system-builders, mystics who try and find the source.  in reality, they are pretty much anyone who gets shaken up by reality, who experiences the death of a close one or a traumatic failure of some sort and comes to question life and existence and meaning.  we all wander the 2nd attention in some way, departing from the strict ‘middle way’ of the 1st attention to come up with our own conclusions about life and reality, of the people around us and whatever else that seems to need explaining and ‘fitting into’ with everything else.

in a way, meaning is used to formulate social hierarchies so that we can fit everything together in a way independent of any one individual or according to one individual.  we say this is how we should live, this is how society should be — we judge everyone and ourselves — whether it be from a perspective of economics, or a religion, or evolutionary psychology.  some kind of universal meaning is introduced to reinforce a social order so that we can say “this is how things should be and our place in those things”

so in that sense, all different theories and systems are equal — because what kind of objective metric for which we can possibly come up with which is ‘right’?

in what sense are things ‘right’?

is it arguable that a paranoid-schizophrenics’ daydream “works” for them as much as my paranoia about paying my taxes on time “works” for me?  there are consequences to both!  and while we can say well, most of us all pretty much believe in paying our taxes (as we also believe in the consequences) can we say also say that when reading a paranoid-schizophrenics’ exposition (say written in a notebook) about the nature of the universe when we understand that words can have inter-textual, slipperiness?  likewise, to capitalize on deleuze and guattaris’ schizo-analysis (which is not about schizophrenics at all, but a structure or a way of connecting things, a different kind of meta-epistemology) can we reject alternate modes of meaning make simply because they are unfamiliar to us?  most of us do!  that’s the point of meaning!  to find the big man, or who should be the big man on campus.

so it comes about that i think a criteria for 2nd attentions that ‘work’ should be whether or not those models are ‘dead-ends’.  i think in the ‘planet earth’ series, sponges were called ‘evolutionary dead-ends’ because they could not progress anywhere else.  likewise, in the castenada world, many of those sorcerers are dead-ends simply that because while they may gain power, they are also lost, or unable to return from their situation.  they are trapped in their own separate worlds, forced to focus and rely solely on the inhumane in the second attention.

example?

many some ppl who know me know that i like philosophy (or that theoretical shit) so that when dan brown’s book ‘da vinci code’ came out, quite a few recommended it to me, equating what i liked to what dan brown did.  i know many ppl won’t equate philosophy with whatever dan brown wrote about in his book, but if you think about it, abstractly the two do resemble one another.  esoteric knowledge, hermeneutics — systems of thoughts, abstract arrangements of meaning… much like what foucault’s pendulum by umberto eco was about with the knights templar, the crusades, free masons and what not.  connections of history and finding a meaningful connection/system in place by which we order the world.  the difference between philosophy per se, and this other stuff, is that philosophy isn’t tied so necessarily to individuals nor do specific time and places.

nonetheless such ‘master’ conspiracy theories seek to explicate events and order a grand narrative, much like fredric jameson’s the political unconscious, such that even ‘the end of narratives’ qua postmodernism is incorporated into an articulate structure which cannot but preserve the theory itself.  to get back to grotesque conspiracy theories such as those involving the knights templar, such theories often take real ambivalence and incorporate it into the theory so that one’s own ignorance plays a role in reinforcing the theory’s metaphysics of presence.

like the 2nd attention sorcerers, one then becomes trapped in that world.

and what then?

is the purpose of developing such a theory, one founded on history and specific events to continually find more information to support it?  even freud with his oedipus complex moved into a different direction as time went on.  it’s inevitable that one’s theorys and ideas should slide as one grows older, or changes location.  but isn’t it usually the case that ppl abandon their ideas, and forget them if they don’t write them down?  we are not our ideas and our ideas are not us.  but ideas at a particular time do suffice as the internal workings of how we orient ourselves among everything else.

and if orientation is what’s at stake, then truth is less important than we feel it to be absolutely.  i say it is best to have an out look which does not force us into any kind of intellectual, emotional or otherwise ‘dead end’.  one should, aesthetically and on principle, seek to come to terms with one’s surroundings… and as we are imperfect beings, in the spinozan sense, we always will have partial knowledge, incomplete and inaccurate.  we must continue to absorb, be flexible and evolve.

even when choosing a career, who wants to be hemmed into being just a customer-specialist?  it’s true (in nature and in today’s world of specialists) that to survive well, one should pick a robust niche that will exist regardless of market forces, and narrow in on that niche to ensure one’s employability.  but that’s only if you want to stay still.  staying still though, is much like a mollusk or clam.  we can’t direct the environment — it’s too big — so it’s best to just ride along within its shadow.

i think of the energy used to lodge and unlodge one’s self from a position to be analogous in structure to the pianists who practice for hours daily to become virtuosos.  when you play a passage, your hand does the motion in the most efficient way for it.  but that’s not going to help when you have a variety of complex forms to perform which require a different motion.  so to be efficient in those complex forms you need to undo the easiest hand motions repertoire in your subconscious and mold your virtual hand (stored in your head) closer and closer into the shape of a keyboard.  and to do that you must transverse the keyboard.

the energy to unbind and re-train one’s hands can be thought of in terms of activation energy.  to transition to a lower energy state (smoother motion and thus, more efficiency).  this is much like the energy it takes to unravel ‘bad habits’ or in our case, to utilize complex hermeneutical pathways to satisfactorially explain phenomenon.  theories which do not explain phenomenon well, require continual maintenance and continual upkeep.  it takes a great deal of energy and anger to be a racist or a bigot.  it takes a great deal of emotional investment and risk of suffering to be self righteous in the face of society.  the harder one solidifies a theoretical apparatus the greater the risk to the thinker if it fails.

i don’t know if enlightenment is ‘real’ in the way of stories.  certainly buddhist enlightenment is real, in the sense that is a publically acknowledged phenomenon within various religions.  i won’t speak of it, but i will mention that it’s difficult to discern how if ever anyone were to understand that one was not in fact lodged in the 2nd attention and that one ‘got it’.  this brings back the question of metrics — or i should say, the lack of metrics.  there are so many different systems and ways of understanding.  for instance, to bring ‘karma sutra’ back to its origins, there is a warning in many tantric traditions of looking up and trying esoteric meditations and yogic practices by ones self. without the proper teacher, one runs the risk of invoking pain and wandering off the path these practices were designed to follow.  the risk in this reminds me of much in the end of the yoga sutra which warns against indulging in the powers that arise from getting close to the unpolished mirror.

when one closes in on the sun, one risks blindness.  the closer one gets,  the increase in the risk of permanent blindness.  if one were on the path to becoming the perfect pianist (assuming such a thing were possible), if one were to stop when one were close, the habits that one has acquired only solidify all the more so, for all the energy and work one has sunken in would help emboss the structures one currently has.  it takes more energy to undo errors done in the extreme than it does errors early on.

this warning, of course, only explicitly functions within the context of there being a given path to follow.

real life — naked life, i should say — is fuzzy and without clear boundaries.  within the context of organized religion, there is always a direction to tread (as it’s organized in a certain way).  slavoj zizek, true to his hegelian loyalties has written extensively that one should follow a given (and perhaps seemingly arbitrary) path as such a path is the best way to guarantee one access to the universal.  if one follows the hegelian dialectics for synthesizing meaning, then one should!  and so zizek has written a good number of books on why the christian legacy should be protected, and what such a pathway has to offer.  aesthetically it’s also consistent that zizek is in fact an authoritarian.  the best way to ascend to a universal guarantee of some sort (any sort, for with zizek all roads lead to the hegelian-esque Notion) is to follow a path as deeply as it goes.  sufis, as well, have an added requirement that one should master at least two different disciplines in order to understand how mastery extends beyond the prohibitions of a medium.

i have waxed about hegel before, so i won’t do that now, but it will suffice to say that if one reaches beyond the mode of the medium one can encounter analogous structures unbound by a particular medium.  we master painter and a master musician can talk!  we don’t need to use the language of a particular language to understand that literature of one culture has analogous movements and tropes possibly found in other literatures… and that syntax in computer languages can invoke syntax in non-computer expressions.

in this way, one can seek the various territories of particular fields, as they are woven with their tropes and their memes and their intensive structures to alight on more primary principles.  such principles posit indexes which can become expressed in a particular discipline.  folks, i am talking directly on deleuze and guattari’s combined notions of plateaus, machinic indexs and territory.  deleuze and guattari are right to repeatedly invoke the success of man not only of his hand as a de-territorialized paw (which can become a hammer in holding a hammer, or a screw driver when using a screw driver) but also in his ability to abstract beyond aesthetic and sexual beauty — to combine abstractions in fomulations of bodily meaning, philosophy and the literary arts.

we can be affected!  and we can affect!  highly developed sensibilities follow the most human of us.

while in the abstraction of so much internal semiosis eventually allowed each of us to experience the reterritorializing of that internal phenomenal space as ‘consciousness’, the process does not guide us in a given direction to further de-territorialize the signs which are re-terrtorialized along specific expressions originating from specific contexts.  perhaps a word ‘allegory’ will always remind you of your 8th grade english teacher, or ‘meta-physics’ will always be the astrology and tarot card section in a bookstore.  and the sight of lingerie will always afford a sexual or ‘naughty’ sensation.  we respond to that with our vaguely deterritorialized bodies, smitten with tattoos and panty hose and other trappings of social signify-ance…  and for all our abilities to abstract, build bridges and realize that a pen is also a weapon… remain trapped in the inner workings dependent on the inherited contexts of our social bretherian.

is it enough then, to realize an illumaniti conspiracy theory as a way of gaining access to social order?  is it enough to work out a ‘pick-up-line’ system to get laid only to have to invest into that system over and over, and refine it and work it so as to be able to work it?  or to vote for a particular political party and rally under that party with the trappings that this is the only way to clear up society and make it ‘what it should be‘ so that it is the ‘best possible world’?  to clothe julian assange with the trappings of christ or satan when he is still a man?  or in some cases, to claim our less fortunate as ‘mere animals’ for living off welfare?

i don’t write this so much for you, because i don’t doubt that this doesn’t apply to you.

in fact, you already know how things should be, and that it’s very apparent this or that style is the right style and that the order inherent in credit cards and drivers licenses are in fact one of the real orders of things.  this is not far from the truth, and if you are thinking i am saying there is a way of mastering reality then you are a bit mistaken.

lets go back to aristotle with his seemingly minor distinction between artificial and natural.  aristotle posited an order of things which says that natural things have essence.  he aligns the state with natural things, as it is supported by people.  artificial things, like wooden statues, do not have that essence, they do not ‘belong’ to the primary motion.  and of course, aristotle brings about a taxonomy to get us closer to true immaterial being… a like a great-grandfather of the biological taxonomy we use today.  but if aristotle allows the state to have essence because people make the state up, and the state changes over time, so then do all items and things of people.  and it is not the objects themselves that we make (artificially) which have essence, but their meanings and ideas.  in a very real way, we then go back to the earlier idea in this entry — meaning is what allows us to create social hierarchies for us to orient ourselves to everything (including each other).

reality as such, is all that, by definition, a meta-state of orientation: any kind of grasping or inclusion of another piece is also reality.  we cannot unthink reality.  very lacan!  and given that all our positions, experiences and bodies are different, it makes sense that there be as many Real(s) as there are people.  beyond that social criterion of orientation, we do have some abstract ability to understand non-people orientation, such as with chemistry or math.  to understand how we fit in with them, however, is to mistake a rock for having the same kind of meaning as a spoon.  natural things have essence as they were, but artificial things only have essence by virtue of how it functions (pragmatics — interesting aside but this does suggest that everything is pragmatics in the the deleuze and guattari schizo-analysis sense).  in a real way, how you understand things is who you are.  and how you change, when you do change, incorporates those alterations in a worldview.

but — wandering in the 2nd attention is not pointless!  and to find commonalities in how various relations work in the inexpressible beyond specific signifying processes internal to us is in some sense to grasp the noumenal skin by which we generate context and meaning.  certainly not a pointless endeavor!  after all, to forgo such a process is to strongly risk being ruled by a 2nd attention dead-end, to be required to bring energy to maintain a world-system, which only asks everything of you — and takes away your free choice as a de-territorialized mammal, denying you much of the energy you might have otherwise, to grow.

wander free and easy.

on ‘letting your meat decide’

finding meaning is a horrible thing to do.

better recommended is lapping after things like a dog, gottadododo have have have, reacting to things, barking madly or jumping after something just because you feel like it.

everyone looks for meaning in some way, as it can be awful oppressive not to have meaning. meaning gives direction. so any direction will do. but direction is there for just part of you.

meaning is the justification for us to do the things we want to do anyway, and then feel good about it.

actively looking for meaning is much like saying there isnt anything good in what’s directly in front of me.

“in order for me to accept it(the thing in front of me) i need to turn it into something else,” that’s what looking for meaning in things does.

Deathtrap

"Good evening, class" the straight
laced prof for whom we can see no
eyes.  Only round ovals of his
glasses.  We sat in our chairs and
as he came in, he wrote his name
on the board.  "This is class is
a G.R.E. requirement.  It is PSY105
an experimental class on DEATHTRAPS
You will notice that there are seat
belts in the chairs.  Please strap
them on."  With that, having us
done so, we could not get them off
at ever again.

In our panic the prof revealed to
us a series of different devices
toys, machines, he said, to sort,
to assemble, to reconfigure, for
the provoking, the pleasure and
exceeding the limits beyond what
we might concieve of, as possible
ways in which to live, survive,
will, in which our bodies are our
instruments.  You will understand,
he began strapping one eye of one
student open, leaned back, arms
strained, that there are alternate
ways of living.  You will find
that there are levels of survival
you are more than willing to
descend to.  That only in the fore
most of human bondage that a
greater focus can be attained, a
more delicious pleasure imaginable.

And he revealed to us the multitude
of wounds, scars, cuts, lacerations
chains wrapped from nipple to
nipple under his coat, the missing
teeth, the nonfunctional eyeball
deformed genitals -- all trophies
he claimed, over the masses of
groans and screams and sighs.  Each
of these is a specimen, a testiment
to the formidable interest that is
a body.  Are not bodies
interesting?  You can break them
bend them and they still survive.
Pain is a state of mind.  It is not
a matter of just cataloging the
instensities hidding within our
selves, but also the underlying
bareness of a soul.

With that began a long lesson.
Not just in the intensities of
a single moment but over the
stretch of hours, days, and
lifetimes.  What made this class
experimental is that the goal of
each student is individual there
are no grades, only a pass or fail.

We all start as zeros.

A passing grade,
   the ultimate escape.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

D   E   A   T   H   T   R    A   P

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

batman in chains
betty boop crying in bed
a damsel tied before a train
a mouse getting cheese
man vs wild
bear steps into jaws, a beartrap
bikini roadkill
texas chainsaw massacer 3
hostel
superman bound to a krytonite rock
floating in space
basic instinct
james bond before a diamond laser
three layers of teeth
an open shark's mouth
smashed beyond recognition
cars
plane crash
shell shock
soliders in rows and rows their arms extended their rifles against their chests
torn apart by pigs
dogs of war
suffocated by locked cars
cyrogeneic freeze
electrocuted by a telephone
sucked into a jet engine
left handed people die quicker
alcohol poisoning
drowning in a lake of fire
boston strangler
twin towers
falling off a ladder
downed by a frying pan
zombies
shotgun blast to the back of the head
rotten apples
cockroaches in the bedroom
rusted toilet seats
adolf hitler
jack the ripper
a hole too big to climb out of
walking down the street
music too loud the eardrums bleed people faint the heart explodes
capital punishment
drunk driving
dismembered by a samurai sword
peeled like a fish
fire extinguisher exploded
e
paint chips on the window sill
leech in the swimming hole
mud foot prints
internal bleeding
sleep deprivation
operating heavy machinery
whiskey stupor
broken bungee
unfunctional parachute
angry dad
rape gang of poodles
dull brick
axe
atom bomb
stabbed
inverted crucifition
roasted in a bronze bull
cement shoes
quartered
horse fucking
hanging
lightning
thrown by a tornado
crushed by a bus
suffocated with a pillow
digestive problems
rusted spike
a bomb
mutation
blood poisoning
trampled by bulls so frightened they are blind running into walls, smashing their skulls against granite
dehydration
buried in a sand storm
time bomb
life sentence
lethal injection
good bad and the ugly
8 million ways to die
fatal hilarity
game shows
red kyryptonite
frost
head injury
foul stench of contaminated tomb air
suicide
exploding chest
falling book case
gravity sickness
nitrogen poisoning
magical implosion
event horizon
piano wire
looking at medusa
death ray
prometheus unbound
crashing into the sun
dark side of the moon
rusting away
falling into lava
locked in an asylum
unholy water
stabbed with a violin bow
stagulation
unsuccessful teleportation
critical mass
imploding submarine
russian rolette
acid burn
radiation poisoning
cancer
surfboard to the head
wooden stake to the heart
jungle fever; malaria
drove off a cliff
shot at high noon
cannibalism
eye implement
decapitation
acid bath
locked door
chained to a bed
bad acid trips
jumped before a moving vehicle
earthquake
endless desert
death valley
sibera
the vastness of space
stranded on pluto
damsel tied to train tracks
princess zelda
tied in a boiling pot
eaten dead
or eaten alive
makes no difference
a rock and a hard place
exposed to the elements
out of the frying pan; into the fire





A CATALOGUE of feelings;

the indescribable rush of
exhiliration, the abuse of breath
and what of god gave you
the jump to know you are on the border to see here, and there
instantly you realize, it's the thrill only when you escape and unbeholden to an iron prison
water rising, your head to the last instant that small glint of air
with your nose pressed to the ceiling, your arms and legs waving
water entering your mouth, the porches of your ears
inbetween your eyeballs death
inbetween your toes death
your hands treading water death
the crink in your neck going worse and worse death
you try to drown yourself but it won't happen you want to live too badly
you swim up and down and around looking for a loose brick, something to let out the water
let in the air stop the drowning box from taking you under you swim back to the ceiling
tilt your head against the ceiling death
trapped against the ceiling and the water bouyant death
one nostril grasping for air it's not enough
your body cannot survive
sacrifice your arms your legs
i need air your brain needs air
need need need death

slow starvation in a cave the boulder in the way
eating your friends
eating yourself
eating dirt
ashes, the carbon to save off the pain
the carbonite ash from fire eats at your stomach lining
if only you could digest wood.  so many hydrocarbons in there, it burns so sweetly
but you cannot eat it your teeth bleed
bite off your fingers and toes
filling your stomach with oxygen with air
you cannot be hungry
you drink all your water and piss it away to fill your belly
drown yourself youre still hungry but so full of water
till you lie on the floor and succumb to gravity
even your breathing takes so much
and then if not for despair you gain the euphoria of monks
visions of your childhood
your lovers
the ground is as satin sheets on your back
the sand runs, a river through your fingers
your body slowly sinks into the earth
its naked flesh melting into the rock and silt
you are in the sky now
the salamites like pencil tips
drawing themselves on your boney rib cage
playing against the sound of your breath, a xylophone
your rasping a saw on your ear
the wind tears at your cold toes and it enters in through your pant legs
wraps its little pinkie on your leg across your anus and up your back
you are so light it lifts you up momentarily
in starvation your brain never loses any of its fat.
it burns off all its neurochemicals however and you can no longer see
you ground your teeth off against rocks days ago
licked the floors until your tongue was raw
the curse of humans to eat their animals sisters and brothers their plant friends
eat the planet away you lose yourself in that feeling
until you aren't hungry anymore
just so tired
tired
death is a cold place where you can feel warm

wake up 6am
drive to work 8am
coffee break 1030am
lunch1pm
resumework2pm
coffeebreak 3:30pm
leave work5pm
get home730pm
eat frozen food8pm
tv9pm
shower and bed11pm
just waiting to die

can't pay your mortgage
can't pay your car
tell yourself it's the little things that matter
saturdays you see a movie with a pal you haven't seen in months
share a beer on friday with the locals at the bar
guys like you but
maybe with a wife and kids
fly home to your parents on xmas
see your brother's family
can't find a better job
hate your boss but he's funny
passed up for a promotion again
don't want to be a manager anyway
easter is another day eating alone
our dog died last year and you hadn't got another
because it's too painful when he just dies for no reason
no matter how much money you dropped that you didn't have
you gave away everything except the dog dish
with his name, bucko
you quit going to the bar
you couldn't handle drinking alone
you drink in your room instead sometimes to
wake to the alarm in your room
when you're still prone on your couch
smelling of bourbon
and congac.
drift a few dollars here and there into a fund
can't retire until youre 70
getting fired would be awful
but secretly, it's a blessing for you to be able to do
what you cannot do for yourself
you are not laid off
you buy a book and never finish it
you bring gifts to your brother's kids
he and his wife insist you should get married
you wouldn't know who
the day you retire
you pass it by
youre 75 and they don't give you work
they force you to leave
youve got nothing else to do
you go fishing sometimes
take a tour you can't afford
of china
europe for 2 months
talk with your tour companions
eat strange food
get drunk with guys you don't like
go to india for a month
japan
vietnam
france
you reverse mortgage your home
you go to siberia
see places most humans would never see
ride a yak in a tour of eleven people
the only humans for 200 miles
where the train tracks had stopped
in the summer fields of flowers, rolling hills
you wonder if your tourguide would kill you all
take your stuff and leave you
you break your leg falling off your animal
it is wrapped in a splint and you can't move without anyone
a freak snowstorm in early august
your party is in the side of a hill for 3 days in a cave
one of the animals die
you all eat it
it is tough and smells funny
your tour guide goes for help with three other people, looking for a place where the radio would work
they don't return for 1 week
after the 9th day you wake up and you're alone
you think they will all come back
it is a beautiful august morning and the snow is melting
the sun goes down
it comes back up
you think it is september now
you still can't walk
you've never seen flowers like these before
the tour guide says they are poisonous
you eat one
nothing happens
then for a while,
nothing some more

the last resort
aresnic filled tooth
crying babies cannot help but understand
someone come save me
alone, i am
helpless.
someone,
we are abandoned
our skin blistering
our nerves frayed
go directly to jail do not stop do not collect 200$
go directly to hell
one way ticket
 bite it
  take a dirt nap
   meet the reaper
    flatline
     for whom the bell tolls
      get your halo
       cooking for the Kennedys
        take the last count
         meet one's maker
          bite the biscuit
           give up the ghost
            go home feet first
             picking up your harp
              coiled up his ropes
               croaked
                river styx
                 crossing the river
                  in the sweet hereafter
                   journey's end
                    kick the bucket
                     singing with the angels
                      six feet under
                       join one's ancestors
                        mailed in his warranty card
                         gibbed
                          meet one's maker
                           pushing up daisies retroactive abortion
                            gone to the big glass house in the sky
                             go the way of all flesh
                              hand in one's chips
                               off the record
                                on one's last legs
                                 left the building
                                  deleted from the BOM
                                   join the angels
                                    sleep with the fishes
                                     visiting Davy Jones' locker
                                      disassemble
                                       feed the fishes
                                        go to one's just reward
                                         go west
                                          cash in your chips
                                           hang up your tack
                                            toasted
                                             Abraham's bosom
                                              snuff it
                                               sowing the Elysian Fields
                                                beamed up
                                                 debt we all must pay
                                                  cached in his chips
                                                   go home in a box
                                                    bought the farm
                                                     on the road to nowhere
                                                      passed on
                                                       pay the piper
                                                        deanimate
                                                         collapsed his/her outline
                                                          shed the mortal coil
                                                           kick the can
                                                            knocked off
                                                             walked the plank
                                                              bought his lunch
                                                               disincorporate
                                                                donating the liver paté
                                                                 done like dinner
                                                                  end of the line
                                                                   fade away
                                                                    the big sleep
                                                                     an awfully big adventure
                                                                      condition non-conducive to life
                                                                       bought a pine condo
                                                                        cashed in
                                                                         big jump
                                                                          at the end of one's rope
                                                                           answer the last call
                                                                            breathe one's last
                                                                             ride the lightning
 of us all,                                                                   checked out
            i am    the living dead                                            cashed out
    in the long run,                                                            bless the world with one's heels
                     we all leave                                                bosom of the Father and his God
but in a death trap                                                               crown of life
            i confront my existentialism                                           curtains
                     up close and personal                                          dance on air
                                                                                     bite the big one
       no way out                                                                     awake to life immortal
                  i am the living dead                                                 pull the plug
                                                                                        bite the dust
                                                                                         number's up
               and i know it                                                              immortally challenged
                                                                                           cross the Great Divide
                                                                                            wacked

on nil

(from twitter)

what’s odd about nothing is that there are 3 kinds of nothing: 1.absence of anything, 2.absence of change and 3.absence of a particular x.

in programming terms, this analogizes to 1. null, 2. loops and 3. zero.

what’s further odd about zero is that in languages like php, zero can be the value zero, empty, null or one.  this 0 = 1 is a 4th kind of zero.

i think this overlap has to do with either specific content, the context of expression or the structure of expression —

all of which may be nil.

the most basic nil is in the structure of expression — which is the kantian negativity. context of expression is hegelian negation (zizek)

and of course specific content is what we are most familiar with and deal with everyday. in culture finding the hegelian negation is akin

to finding the “species which is its own genus” as zizek says, the primary case. something i think south park keeps trying to hit.

of course that’s also philosophy’s goal too, to explicate the zero point of structure, find the root of being all that jazz.

the purest case with the simpliest move. we can always tailor our structure to support other items “a priori”, in theory.

 

Zeros in numbers are a purely expressive entity but as such refers to what would otherwise be uncaptured substance.

Saying that is like making digital analogue. An mp3 recorded on vinyl.

The inexpressible is expressible by virtue of the concept of the negative, by voids in expressive structure.

This is not to confuse a deployed camera’s negation with the negativity of blackness on a movie screen.

Where hegel abuts universality in force is like law taking onto account violations by being more strict than necessary.

Or like good design swallowing common human error.

This is what theoloticians may mean by taking about human freewill made compossible with god’s supreme will VIA Jesus, god as man.

 

(post-twitter)

god’s will must encompass everything, including that which is free of god.

that’s where determinism and freewill intermix, in a figure like jesus.  jesus acts as the central binding agent on the way to universality, as petit objet a, the stain of god on man, a stand in for the subjectivity/godhood.

but if jesus is the stand in, and jesus is negative, how can god be negative?  not just in terms of not-man and not-god but also as zero qua one (as stated above).

what’s particularly interesting in this is that in the fullest level beyond universality, hegel still insists on the emptiness of the notion beyond the traditional readings of dialectics.

in a very real way, negation for hegelian dialectics is necessary — one can’t have universality without taking into account that which is not explicated.

joan copjec in her brilliant essay ‘body as viewing instrument or the strut of vision’ takes heed of this when she explains how renaissance painting isn’t simply a field.  the field from the subject projects an idealized viewing point just behind the head of a viewer situated squarely before the painting.  the ‘final’ negative acts as the last suture, by taking into account that final kernel of understanding — rooted from the subject.

this brings us beyond negation into universality — but the step beyond negation qua universality is to consider the totality itself as self-determining — that Emptiness is Godhood itself which can only be expressed as the zero-sum of structure.

once again, we find ourselves enwrapped in a kantian lock-box of phenomenon — only this time there isn’t a noumenality by which we cannot know, for the noumenal is included as part of the structure itself like how phenomenon is structured.

if anything, at this point we’ve aligned the first three nils on one another: content, expression and structure like an empty structured database, or a spread sheet or pivot table without data, devoid of content.  virtually there but inexpressed.  what we’ve ended with is the last kind of zero, where it acts in a higher level as one.

this is simply because while one is a totality when viewed from the outside –from a position of immanence, one is needed as zero to establish metaphysics of presence, marking a structural change from pure absence to a structured presence.  in terms of programming, a zero is already one bit.  a nothing wouldn’t even show up and cannot be considered.

an interesting consequence of this concept of zeroth-ing is to understand that subjectivity itself is the zero point sum, the empty category that establishes the modal structure of renaissance order.  this seems to suggest that we understand others as a consequence of our own singularity.

but this grasp of subjectivity as zero misses the point, for we have a totality as one in subjectivity already.

so where is the nil point that is pre-subject?

copjec talks of the gaze as the field that cleaves and binds; for if the subject is us, what does our presence guarantee?  how does being one equate to being zero?  it is in the consequences of getting to be one that we already assume a zero — in Lacanian language it is the Other that bounces off subjectivity in so as subjectivity requires others.  what copjec calls the gaze guarantees both subject and object and acts as the originary marking place.  they are dual views of the same situation.

therein lies the structural difference by which noumenal and phenomenal are cleaved, inexplicable but also nil.  the ground of being separate must be established before being can be, a crux of psychoanalysis from motherandchild to i and you.  in each point epistemologically, we must have the empty container-notion which can contain it all, and is rightly not anything.  The set of all sets is not really a set, it is the empty set par excellence.